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|Saturday, July 3rd, 2010|
|1.8 Kps 'Ought to be Enough For Anybody
Dial-up here is actually kind of nice. I mean, yeah, it's shit for downloading anything, but the ping is like 500 ms on average. That's crazy good - my OCSNet days gave me crap like 1200 ms.
So um, Jade Cocoon 2.
I don't think I've said enough nice things about this game. It is a game I strongly don't regret buying.
The rat tunnel forest trails might be pretty bland, but on the whole it does create an RPG that feels a bit more like an experience than a train ride with pre-determined stops - it does create an illusion of a tiny world with NPCs that aren't in a complete eternal stasis.
It has the least annoying Annoying Fairy Companion in the history of vid'ya games.
The menus are sensible and just let you do shit instead of getting in the way and asking ARE YOU SURE at every tiny consequenceless action you do.
One way of getting monsters is to barge into some guy's nest, murder the mother and her children, steal the unhatched egg, hatch it, then make the newborn your loyal eternal slave. This may have unfortunate/awesome implications about the cultural psyche of the game's developer.
Adorable little monsters with big teeth and excessive eyeballs.
The battle system is kind of blargh later on when fighting a competent beast hunter- just becomes this endless slug fest with no winner or loser. Sleep has never been a more powerful spell in any game 'sides Dungeons and Dragons. Would have been better if you could only have 4 monsters with 3 skills each fighting one at a time, instead of eight monsters on four sides with one move on each side. Meh.
Just a very mellow, simple game that's nice to fall asleep to.
But seems to be going senile. It pauses and nags me about my controller not being good enough and I have to wiggle it to get it to continue. Racist game.
Meh. Here's a thread to read about how awesome
the Avatar movie is. There's seven pages to it - don't be tricked by crappy forum software like I was.
You got 400 minutes of stuff that you've gotta cram into 90 minutes. What do you get rid of? The glue and the soul. Or you do it right, and include everything. Or you don't do it all.
... but of course remaking something that already exists is retarded full stop.
Oh hey they're making new Avatars "Legend of Korra". I look forward to seeing that. 1 kilobyte at a time.
|Monday, June 7th, 2010|
|Bleep Bloop Bleep I am a Dial Up
Had a lot of internet free time to go through an unhealthy amount of Dragon Warrior.
The sprite palettes Dragon Warrior 4 used depress me since two of them are similar. How much orange do you need? Why are so many NES games racist against yellow?
Played Dragon Quest Monsters Joker for the first time. It's not completely god awful - better than Caravan Heart but still worse than DQM2. My timing is impeccable since it appears DQMJ2 was just released in April, which has been getting better reviews. I might be able to heartily recommend that game after playing it.
One thing I've loved about this particular army of monsters series, is the fusion system lets you get any monster in the game, even right at the beginning, if you have enough patience. And that up until Joker, which monsters you use don't really matter since in PvE they're all functionally the same.
So um. I've learned the DQ4 DS remake Engrish edition did the horrible horrible thing of removing Party Talk, which is the thing where you talk to the PCs in your party and they say sassy things to you. But that DQ5DS still has it.
DQ5, king of the false dilemma trope. "Here are two women! You can only marry one! This and monster catching are the only memorable things in this game!" I swear, like video game characters never heard of polygamy. Or making a game memorable. The overworld to Zelda is burned onto the surface of my brain, but I swear I only vaguely remembered a few scenes when I replayed the SNES version of this thing.
So um, Dragon Quest 9 in english to look forward to at the end of summer, Hikari no 4 Senshi at the end of the year, a Starcraft II to not buy in a month due to DRM AIDS, and um.
|Sunday, May 2nd, 2010|
So pokemons. The damage formula:
(Level + 5) / 125
Attack / Defense
Since it's relative; pokemon don't ever get stronger against one another from their stats as they level up. If you fought guys all same level as you throughout the game, leveling up would change practically nothing.
Also: Chanseys take a lot of damage from physical attacks. A lot.
So what makes a good chinpokomon:
* Good STAB moves. That 50% bonus often makes the difference of at least 1 less hit for a knockout. So Dual-types are pretty much always better.
* Good defense spread. A 0x that nulls the weakness of the other type is fantastic - like Swampert's ground negating lightning. Or Gastly's Levitate negating Ground.
* These two often clash; steel is great for defense, lame for offense. Ice is great offensively, extremely extremely bad defensively.
And fairly weak crappy guys have been given a move to restore 50% life: Softboiled, Moonlight, Synthesis, Roost, etc. Super early Synthesis is why I like Chikorita so much - she's a bit of a defensive beast and it saves a lot of moolah you might have burned on potions.
AnywayRetro Game Challenge Review
This is that game inspired by that Game Center CX show that we don't get to watch cause American TV sucks balls.Challenge Metagame
The bookends of the games is having to complete a challenge, to move on to the next challenge, and eventually the next game. I found this structure... very disappointing. I assumed this would be like a cruel hedonistic Achievement system, like "Beat Stage 2 without getting hit" or "Complete Ghosts n' Goblins... you poor bastard."
But it's not. You just complete a task, that's more like a basic "tutorial" than a "challenge". Then get kicked out of the game. Then restart all over to complete the next task. Most stupidly, some these literally are the exact same task, and almost always could have been done in the previous run. "Beat the midboss on Stage 1" and "Score X Points", urgh. And having to grind these out to play the next game? Argh.
The high points are the magazines that hype upcoming games like they're the third coming of Jesus, the Simpsons references in the magazine QA pages, and occasionally the lonely little kid next to you will say something amusing.Cosmic Gate
A shitty boring Galaga clone. Way to put your best foot forward.Robot Ninja Haggle Man
It's like Ninja Kun. It's not totally painful to play. Character design is cute.Rally King
A simple racing game. I might rate it lower if I had actually ever played Micro Machines. Has some epic music in it, which I would say is the best part of this game.Star Prince
A mediocre vertical shooter. It amazes me how easy it is to ruin a Shoot Them Up, when they're some of the simplest games to make and one of the oldest genres there is.Robot Ninja Haggle Man 2
Like the first one, but a bit better.Rally King SP
A "special version" of Rally King, with a swapped palette and laden with advertisements for noodles. Seems easier to spin out of control when you bump into other cars, so I feel it's slightly worse.Guadia Quest
Argh.. it's a Dragon Quest 2 spoof. It has cute ducks in it. What kills it is equipment shops that don't give you item stats while you're buying crap, a battle system that requires you to press a button.. on... every... message.... and an annoying guy making snippy remarks to your side. A guy making snoring sounds, whining, or shouting in excitement is fine with the other stuff, but very annoying in a jRPG.Robot Ninja Haggle Man 3
Didn't get this far, but I assume it's a mediocre Mega Man 2 clone.Overall
Perhaps the sequel was much better, I don't know. But this overall was a package of crap wrapped with some nice ideas.
Is this a worthwhile idea for an entire genre? Perhaps, if it used an achievement style system and provided freedom. And each game included, would have to be a serious, full, game instead of a watered down clone. And who would want to take a gamble on making 6 to 12 entire games in one package that might flop?
Well, if each game had a team of only around ~2-3 people, it could compete pretty well on the upfront cost side compared to the huge teams used to make games today.
One thought... how do you make a box that advertises such a beast? If you have five games, each pretty cool, where is the room to stick blurbs and screenshots of each on it? Do you staple a little flip book on it for customers to flip through? DS boxes are tiny
|Saturday, April 17th, 2010|
Let me show you them.
Things I hated about Pearl:
* Slower everything. Silver/Gold with emulator speedup are more fun.
* Can't change the ball a pokemon is in once you have them. An aesthetic quibble - but matters a crap ton when you want a guy to get HAPPIER in a luxury ball.
* All the good pokemons are either limited or require you to trade to evolve to goodness. 900% of everything you find in the wild is useless crap.
* Natures... random stat rolls.... stat EXP.
* Limited TMs.
* The physcial/special attack split isn't really that big a deal. Types are still heavily biased to one or the other - Ice Punch is crap to Ice Beam, Power Gem is crap to Earthquake..
* HMs still need to have their moves taught to some guy to function.
Ah well. After beating the game, I downloaded Pokesav and fixed some of the things that were bothering me like a nail stuck in my knee.
It seems that the game loses a lot of its appeal once you have ahold of the team(s) you want. Is there anything in the game to give a crap about besides your Pokemons and their moves? Of course not. So, literally, the game is just one huge cock block against you, keeping you away from the team you want. We are masochists, like Jesus Christ or the Trix Rabbit.
Here they be:
Empoleon is kind of a beast. Leftovers + Double Team + half damage from most things made him a good sweeping wall. As always, the starter ended up carrying most of the team during the RPG portion of the game.
Drill Peck had a surprising number of useful targets: Bugs, Fighting and Grass (prior to buying Ice Beam).
My guy was originally generated with the nature that gives up Special Attack for extra Attack; the opposite of what you'd want. In addition, he rolled a 1 for his Special, and ended up with a higher Attack throughout the game. This vexed me greatly.
Second guy I caught, because their base form is TOO CUTE. Later forms, not so much. Was an okay pokemon.... except she had Rivalry. I noticed she seemed to do much lower damage than expected against Males, Slowpedia'd it, and found to my horror her damage was being halved against them. THANKS UNDOCUMENTED BULLSHIT. Had to put this kitty to sleep after that nonsense.
HM Bitch. Is explicitly inferior to the HM Bitch of Pokemon 3 - Zigzagoon, who has the Pickup skill. This is actually Bitch #2
, Bitch #1
was a feeble Bidoof.
100% accuracy Dynamic Punch guy, but without an Icy or Rocky punch attack since the game makes it inconvenient to get them. Was pretty dang effective. The level __ Onyx boss was lowkicked into oblivion by this fellow.
Was forced to get this guy for the Grass gym. It felt kind of like the game was patronizing me "haha you'll take the team I give you and you'll liek it." as this is like the only fire guy you can find in the wild.
He was surprisingly decent - even though fire prefers special attack. Definitely superior to its counterpart, Vulpix.
Had to put this pony to sleep after it grew up; its battle sprite just had the stupidest looking hair. I couldn't take it anymo'.
Taxi Bitch. It's a good thing they feel it's necessary to reskin Pidgey, instead of, you know, making a new pokemon or two. I hated fog because the glare hurt my eye-things.... but later discovered fog kills accuracy in fights and wastes all your time. I fought a freaking Chansey in fog with a Special attacker - I wanted to kill myself.
Oh and I used this bird to Thief a Lucky Egg off a Chansey. Took about 12 tries. +50% exp is nice.
I went through a lot of trouble to breed a Gastly that still had Hypnosis on it... and then discovered some guy who would teach you old moves your pokemon could have learned from leveling up. >_<
Gengar has gotten buffed quite a bit - he now learns Shadow Ball from leveling. I never knew this attack even existed up to now - in Pokemon 2 it was a one of a kind TM. >_< Sludge Bomb is also kind of adorable. :3
It'll be very nice when poison is no longer weak to Psychic...
The land shark is so cute, like an SNL skit pokemons. The bulb thingies are stupid looking. It was.. interesting, that the area he was caught in had the Earthquake TM in it. "Here is a guy who is an ideal candidate for Earthquake, and here have an Earthquake to put on him while we're at it." Like the nicest thing a Pokemon game has ever done for anyone.
Argh this guy sucked. At the elite four, he got one hit ko'ed all the time, once even by Dragon Rush
. His counterpart is probably a million times better.
Didn't know that you could only get one of legendaries in this non-premium version of the game. Everything was better in Pokemon 2. So lame.
For some reason I felt like building up an electric sheep. Maybe because I'm a fan of Adult Sheep Finder. Don't judge me.
Electric types kind of suck. It's like, why do you have this guy? 'Cause water guys are annoying and overpowered because Gamefreak loves their Mary Sue. Is he good for anything? No not really.
For some reason I have an Espeon. Way past the point of me caring about the game. Meh.
My Umbreon. He's fierce!
The Starfish... annoys me. He gets STAB Surf, STAB Psychic, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Cosmic Power, and Recover. He has a highish special attack, and is extremely fast. Like, only 21 guys match his speed fast.
He's a very powerful Pokemon with a good move spread, is fairly unique, and has a reason to exist. The exact opposite of a Starmie is a Makuhita
, a useless bag of crap no one is even aware exists.In Conclusion
It would be way more fun to just start the game with the pokemons you want and play like that. Which I guess is a good argument FOR haxing.
In a couple generations, you could create a theme team where you pick one starter from each game. Like choose one of Charmander / Squirtle / Bulbasaur, and one of Chikorita / Boring Alligator / Boring Fire Wombat etc. It would definitely be stronger than one full of Bidoofs and Pidgeys.
Another feature that would be really freakin' nice
would be an option to restart the RPG from the start without having to give up your riches of treasure and pokemons. If they'd actually use the level restriction of badges as a hard lockout (meaning you can't carry your Lv 30+ Gyrados at the start) it'd actually be fun, more fun than a Chrono Trigger New Game+. Though since this discourages you from buying two DSes and two Pokemons, it's something those Nazis would never do.
|Monday, April 5th, 2010|
Post Pokemon Depression (PPD) tells me I am done with Pearl. Perhaps some nerdy design ranting tomorrow will help get through it. Also: tomorrow has too many goddamn o's in it. The second one should be an a. Hate.
Supernatural wasn't an April Fools. They did not, in fact, lie to the CW about the description, and did not, in fact, waste thousands of dollars cutting together a fake promo. This makes me sad.
There was a part I liked about it:
DEAN JOKES ABOUT ZACK'S BALDNESS
Yeah? Well in heaven, I have six wings. And four faces. And one of them? Is a lion.
|Thursday, April 1st, 2010|
For today, Bulbapedia has been renamed Slowpedia. It is apropos to the max, and it will always be known by this name by me from now on. Sniffle.
It also occurs to me, that it is also possible today's Supernatural plot, "Dean and Sam die and go to Heaven", has the potential to be nothing more than an elaborate prank. Right from the get-go. I should have seen this possibility weeks ago, and need to learn to be more vigilant in the future. I will update to advise on the status of this spidie tingle.
Something that is completely not an April Fool's joke: Today my four years in the inactive reserves is completed, and I am now officially draft proof* for WWIII. *Happy draft dodger dance*
These four years have been well spent feeling bad about my life and not accomplishing anything at all. Here's to four more baby!
* (Technically I think I'd be in the same bucket as old men, but, mere quibbles.)
|Saturday, March 27th, 2010|
Dear Pokermon Developer Assholes,
Please be less freaking vague. I'd like to know if a trait lowers my guy's attack (and therefore, damage) by 25%
, or if it secretly effects the encounter rate.
But you'll never change. You're the same assholes who continue to remake the same game with the same unnecessary flaws over and over.
Love them Zubats by the way.
|Friday, March 19th, 2010|
Here is an old tyme story:
Once upon a time, there were very few games out there. Some game called Pocket Monsters was taking decades to localize, so the young Space Prince played it in the Japanese Moon Language version.
At the onset of his journey, he made an effort to catch one of every monster type he saw. Soon, by the time he reached the first cave, he came across some flying rat. Later he would have a name for this wretched creature: Zubat.
He caught one, unenthused. With the firm knowledge that he would never use such a shitty boring unit, He decided that he wouldn't bother trying to "collect them all" and would only take from the land what he'd use or think he might use. The game became quite a bit more enjoyable in this frame of mind.
So here we are, a dozen or more years later. Still swatting aside useless fucking Zubats while trying to walk across a cave. And every single moron mook makes them the cornerstone of their awEsomE tier team, when better pokemons could be had walking around in the grass outside for 3 minutes. Seriously guys, there are flaming horses and stuff out there.
I think I've killed more Zubats than stomped Goombas. And the seas already run red with the ocean of goombas I've pounded the intestines out of. So, perhaps it is time for a break. I think I might finish Pearl when they're halfway through localizing Generation Five: The Quest To Buy Nintendo An Island.
Annoying bullet points as I ponder their design:
* These games are hardline linear. I actually think it's kind of crappy they narrow your choices so harshly. Like, "here is the Rock Gym, go catch a Machop and karate chop them to death." "Here is the plant gym, go catch a Ponyta and kill them with fire."
* Onix, the poor bastard, can not get a break. Machops come with Low Kick as their default attack. Low Kick deals more damage the heavier the target is. Onix is heavy. By the calculations I've done on this napkin, that means a level 10 Machop does about 300-something damage to Gym Guy's final almighty pokemon. Onix's sprite should explode in gore when exposed to that level of overkill.
* Typing still annoys me. Bugs evolve early, which means they get to be decent only for the early game, perhaps to impress little kids who think they're cool? Notice how all the bug catchers in the games are retarded little kids who think Metapods are stone cold killers? Hrm.
* Somewhat on the same subject, that some Rock types can spawn with an ability that makes them take less damage from super effective attacks
, makes me facepalm hard. It's totally admitting the rock type sucks hard. Why not just make them not be weak to Ground and the ever-popular and mandatory Earthquake?
* Freaking Bidoofs. I hate seeing them. I hate having to have one as a "HM Bitch" even more. I caught a Machop and named him Bitch, but he'd only be good for smashing and moving rocks it would seem. Why can't the machine just do the unlocking instead of a guy? It's so lame to make critters that exist for that sole purpose
* On the other hand, it is nice to occasionally see something I have no idea what the hell it is. Despite being trapped in Plato's Allegory of a Cave With Too Many Goddamn Zubats In It.
* Seriously, why the hell isn't there a 2d sprite based Pokemon clone with knockoff Pokemons out there? There should be at least half a dozen by now. What are those people doing?
* It is amazing I've actually played a game this ass backward complex without a Bulbapedia existing. My Machop could've ended up with that trait that doesn't give him 100% accuracy with outrageously overpowered moves. 50% accuracy attacks imply "I would be twice as strong as a normal attack if I could hit every time." Why balance for anything other than for "cool", seriously.
* I still think Ice should be better defensively.
* Nothing depresses me more than the little nobodies you stomp into the dirt (probably using the local version of Caterpies, Ratatatas, Pidgets, or Magicrap)... and then hearing them say afterward "One day I'll be a great trainer like you!" It's like, no you're not little booger kid. You're not going to do anything else with your sad, small, pathetic, insignificant life. You only existed to keep me from biking the six feet to the next impotent jerkwad that wants to waste my poketime.
Which, inevitably, acts as a mirror of our own cog-like lives.
The games would be nicer if you only fought at most around 30 main characters - like the size of a classroom. And they actually went around with the illusion they actually did things, and their teams would change and grow.
Bah I'm old
|Monday, March 15th, 2010|
|DeSmuME is Extremely Awesome
I was just pondering yesterday, hey, how to get those two screens to fit onto a monitor with a normal aspect ratio.
Then today, I think, hey, it would be nice to just assign a "flip screen displayed" button. Before scaling up on their forums and suggesting the feature, I comb the hotkey configuration menu, and there it was. Glory!
With a fast forward feature already there and screen scaling, and savestates, what else do you need?
So Ketsui Death Label is much more fun when you can see the bullets without hardcore squinting. But... it does have slowdown when a lot of bullets are on screen (which is almost always)...
|Wednesday, March 10th, 2010|
At The Guy in I Wanna Be The Guy. It takes an unreasonable amount of napping to reach the "dodge the Cinderella Amber bullet chain" sequence, which is the fussy part, and has pretty much taken me off the train at this point. Avoiding meaningless, mindless minutes was pretty much the point of the thing.
Argh. The game does become a bit mind numbing after awhile, but there are some basic concepts demonstrated. Like waiting. No one likes waiting while playing a game. The amount of waiting involved has direct correlation to amount of sucking.
Oh, yeah. And I tried out some Famicom Disk games a while back when the Kid Icarus wiki article vaguely implied it had altered music thanks to additional sound channels on the FDS. And it's true: Kid Icarus, Zelda, and Metroid do have altered title music and some extra sounds.
As for the FDS itself, it kind of sucks. You have to wait like 15-20 seconds for a game to load, and then FLIP the disk manually to actually play. (I.... guess... they used the entire other side for the fancy title music...? How can that even be... it isn't that
awesome... maybe samples for the DPCM channel? That makes sense...) Nintendo Power tried to make this thing sound pretty awesome, but in reality it was probably for the best we never got it. It doesn't even seem to have games past the earlier titles.
Another thing I can't unsee are the NES palettes now. You can only have four palettes active at a time for sprites, and four palettes active for the background. That's 24 or 25 colors onscreen at once - not sure if basic background color counts. So in Zelda all the doodads you can pick up or monsters you can fight have one of four palettes. In an RPG, all the townfolk you can talk to have one of four palettes... goombas the same color as bricks... etc...
And the limitations explain something that bugged me during childhood - why did Dragon Warrior 1 have these pretty colorful battle scenes and its NES sequels all had a blank dreary black background. To avoid the foul scourge of flicker of course - sprites any bigger than the Dragon Lord would flicker like crazy.
Also my grey sweatpants that stay on my ass (unlike the black ones that don't squeeze and slip down) seem to have mysteriously disappeared. This worries me.
|Thursday, March 4th, 2010|
Beat Syobon Action 1. It is a hateful creature.
Beat the demo of Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril. The child eating lotus was mean.
Drew a knight statue sprite thing today. It is kind of terrifying, when you start off with something that's crap and massage it until it's almost not crap at all. I think of the process as hiding the crapiness.
Since we live in a universe where cock and boob pills and MS Antivirus
pull in billions, it is obvious humanity is a seething mass of stupid, and that we really do require a eugenics program. I recommend hurling the earth into the sun.
You know, kamikaze software engineer guy did his thing only a couple weeks back, and the guy's been totally forgotten. Can we forget for two seconds that some girl named M.J. died or some tiger molested some women or September 11? No of course not.
I pasta'ed this guy's huge rant
on another forum, and like most of my forum posts, it killed the thread dead. Was it because people realized like "wait... we're as bad as... Hitler
...?!" and felt bummed out and only want to talk about happy things like Double Poop Wednesdays?
|Monday, February 15th, 2010|
|Cold Weather, I hate Youuuuuuu
It's wonderfully brain melting isn't it. Take a few dozen pages of this kind of stuff in notepad and scroll up and down really fast and that's how it makes me feel.
And glitchy like how! Bumping into the corners of tiles in terrain is a problem right now. Has a secondary effect of letting you walk over one space wide gaps - you're falling down constantly so edge bumping happens for that one pixel you're supposed to fall.
Also have to add some acceleration to jumping. A static velocity up and down doesn't work at all.
|Sunday, January 31st, 2010|
|Let's waste everyone's time
Okay uh, have an editor and the gears in place to nit nodes together in-engine:
That's five nodes you see up there.
Now uh. Um.
So the editor spits out the stage info in source - it exports this huge SELECT CASE statement with each node's tiles to a .txt, and in theory I just copy pasta it into the program. I was kind of amused when the ~40 nodes created a file 193 KB in size. Remember when I said there'd have to be like 4000 nodes at the least? It'd be an awesome ~19.3 MB txt file - roffles.
So anyway, with my smooth ctrl+shift+end skillz I pasta'ed the thing and ran program feeling a little excited. And then the IDE was like HELP COMPUTER.
So I discovered a new wonderful thing about VB6 today. It does not like source files larger than 64 KB in size.
This.... is a set back and will prove annoying to work around.
And I was worried about getting a little dude to jump around the stage for a "playable" prototype. Harumph.
|Monday, January 18th, 2010|
Everything is holistic. It's important to understand this.
Today I found an actual use for the following trivia:
If you have around 30 people in a room, it's over 50% likely at least two of them share the same birthday.
Here is how it applies to me:
If you stitch together a platformer level with 30 nodes out of 365 - it is more likely than not one of the nodes will be used twice in the same stage.
Now, I could
just be like "don't reuse ye node". But that's not how I roll. What I take away from this information is that I'd need a pool of around 1000 nodes for any given level for decent random generation.
My legs feel like lead. Stairs are bad for legs.
|Thursday, December 31st, 2009|
As always I've come to be disappointed with something after finding it. In the end I feel like telling Animal Planet's booberella to stop SMILING SO HARD in all of her pictures. It's unnatural, nobody bares their teeth like that, just what the hell woman.
I know such logic would be a waste of effort though. We're different species after all.
It reminds me of what a House M.D. patient said about his wife: "Intellectually she's closer to a gibbon than me. Having sex with her would be an act of bestiality."
That's my favorite House line ever by the way. It's soooo mean
Squats are hard. They are a grind. They're a full body exercise where if a single muscle relaxes ever, Bad Things can and will happen. It is because they are hard that they are worth doing - I merely have to be harder than they are.
Which is hard. How easy it would be to just be Some Douchebag that does the benchpress and curls.
On this doctor show (suddenly we give a shit about our bodies - otherwise daytime tv would have had these things on years ago) some asshole was asking about getting calf implants instead of learning that a thing called the squat exists. He was a "personal trainer" which is code for "doesn't know fuck off about anything".
Arris Clone referred to it as boob implants in the leg instead of hard work.
Anyway, I'm filling out the ~203 pounds, progress is hard but it is measurably happening every session.
Been pondering how to link platformer stage nodes together that have two connection points. In an open stage, as long as the nodes only go down up and right they'll easily connect cleanly without any wizardry.
But levels like caves - unless they start and end with the same floor to ceiling height - I don't know how to deal with that. Perhaps being forced to have a few standard sizes and have mini "adapter" nodes that transition the ceiling.
But how to handle underwater levels where the water level at the top is constant but the floor could be anywhere.
So I'm ignoring the facts that I have 861 megabytes free on my hard drive and that I bought 600 gigabytes I can't use.
|Sunday, December 6th, 2009|
|The Ballad of the Sorry Hard Drive
So a few days ago, I logged into my computer and it was all like "oh hey there's something plugged into my butt." I, being a naive optimist fool, was kind of excited.
So the new hard drive was partitioned into a nice big 600 GB lump, and formatted over about six hours. Wrote a file to it, it worked, hooray forevers.
Then of course it's never been recognized by my computer since. Next steps of a desperate man: driver then bios updates. Still, I expect those jigabytes to never be seen again.
Anyway, I beat Mario 2 some weeks ago. I agree with what's-his-face that the All Stars remakes is an abomination of the original games. Some things that perturb me about it:
1. The levels with black backgrounds don't have clouds anymore. I loved those clouds.
2. There are stages that have statues of goombas on pedestals. Who the hell would put something as lowly as a goomba on a pedestal? Only another goomba would, I tells you. And how would a goomba construct a pillar without any damn hands? Exactly.
So anyway. I'm 196 pounds now and hopefully growing. Right now is the time for pizza.
Home made pizza, so cheap and yet so very delicious.
|Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009|
Step 1: Buy a 650 GB hard drive on cruel, cruel Friday for fiddy bux.
Step 2: Install it.
Step 3: Spend the next year wondering why the SATA #02
slot on my motherboard isn't working.
Step 4: Did Discount PC screw me? Those assholes
Step 5: Seriously what the hell.
|Friday, November 20th, 2009|
Super Mario Brothers 2 is a load of bullshit.
Hold b, hold right, and you can pass these parts half the time. The other half the time, you fall into the lava and die instead of moving to the right in mid air.
The laws of physics should be consistent.
Screw that game. Screw it to hell.
|Friday, November 13th, 2009|
Lei is up on the character page.
It really is a cool design, with the little angel/fallen angel familiars and the bow. I try to pretend that it isn't a 12 year old transvestite, but just the knowing makes it impossible not to notice the wider manly upper torso. Damn the Japanese and damn knowing things.
Trying hard not to go crazy.
, talk to myself.
, try to figure out what to do with the new 6 gb of bandwidth I'm allocated a month.
|Sunday, November 8th, 2009|
I seriously can't come up with a name for this thing. Cthulhu crossed with Mario Brothers crossed with Cave Story. halp
Super Zombie World doesn't work as there are very few zombies.
I've been playing Super Mario Brothers Vs. often lately. Too much.
Annoying thoughts like "has Mario ever had sex with a turtle?" Since the only human beings in this universe are him, his brother, and the princess, it stands to reason that THEY are the abominations to nature. Bestiality would seem to be almost reasonable under these conditions - to even talk to the only woman in existence, the dude has to slay a freakin' dragon. We ask too much of Mario.
Also, stage 2-3 where the peep-peeps fly at you on the bridge? It's like they've followed you from the previous stage, trying to catch you lest you escape their flippery grasp.
Also, how when you kill the fake Bowsers with fire, and their true form is revealed as they fall into the fire (goomba, koopa, squid etc)? I thought that was really cool as a kid, and gave the thing an entirely new layer of depth.
So now I think I will try to put that time toward Mario 2, and maybe wait on that hack to convert the first game to the MSX version.
Oh, and I got ~3'43" in Sacred Ground in Cave Story. It's kind of easy but still a fun level. Really wish there was some way to turn off the pop up dialogue. It ruins the whole thing really.