Roy looked across the cab of his pickup truck. Across, to pretty little Susie. His eyes drifted southward almost automatically, to her bare midsection. He could contain his lust no longer.
He moved in close, and whispered softly along her seam "You're too damn sexy. You know that, right?"
Susie, the racist bag of fertilizer, froze. Perhaps she was torn between conflicting emotions of disgust and temptation? Perhaps.
He nibbled seductively on her corner while fondling her plastic front. For many long minutes. He could contain himself no longer; Roy wasted no time to make his move.
He ripped open her seams and her dried delicate insides (that smelled slightly of poo) spilled all over him. From face to crotch. He rapidly orgasmed, right before the bomb in the back went off and took down the Pentagon and all the hippies in it.
Roy's final thought before being turned into salami: "Totally worth it. Totally."
Useless bonus post
It's blurry because FB likes to convert sexy 2.47 kb gifs into shitty blurry 15.24 kb japiggles. Apparently that helps someone, but hell if I know who.