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dauntless's Journal

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Space KinG
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I went off for almost half a year, suffered my madness, came back. Nothing has changed, which is good and bad. I will soon leave again. The soul suffers...

***

Today, April first, 2002, shall be the day I leave home for the first significant stretch of time in my life. Bad things might happen: I may die in a plane crash instead of a brain tumor like I'm supposed to. Bad things have already happened: I no longer have my precious mustache, so I have no power to break blocks with my head or kill goombas in a single bound. Maybe it won't be awful...

***

As you may or may not have noticed, as you are all motherfuckers, my life should be progressing rapidly as of late. And my previous statements on the general state of my life might not be accurate any longer. So, as I go through iterations, this space will be updated to reflect my reality. But previous entries will, of course, be left here, as they are very dear to me.

And no matter what happens, I'll try to keep new entries in the journal at the rate of at least one every three months. Any longer than that and you can very well be assured that I am dead.

That's all for now.

***

Here's a bio, for those of you coming in late and are too lazy to view the back logs.

See, I'm this guy who has recently gotten out of High School (With a golden state diploma) and has no direction at all in life. I can't go to school because I will lose my mind if I do, and I have no reason to get a job because I have no use of money. Sports and other forms of recreation are impossible for me; I get winded doing the dishes, although my body seems strong enough, (5'11.4" and 167 lbs) my heart (or blood/air supply) simply can not keep up with even 3/4's of what it's capable of.

So I sit in the dark.

And I look for things to interest me on the computer machine. I get very bored.

Most of my day consists of looking at porn. It probably wouldn't take all day if my internet connection would work consistantly, but it only works when I don't need it.

When I sleep, I never dream. I can get a few brief moments if I go to sleep immediately after waking up, but those count for nothing.

I sometimes scribble sad, unfunny comics whenever I do not feel like I am going to die.

My chores are not chores. They are ordeals. Burn the trash. Mow the lawn. Wash the car. Wash the dishes. Crush the cans. The first two are the worst.

My dogs are all assholes.

Anytime I eat anything, I get heartburn.

I've tried to find some measure in truth through models of reality, but I've come to the conclusion that none exits. I am a solipsist, except that I do not believe I even exist. I don't consider my thought process to be thinking; it's more like reacting to stimuli, as a paramecium does.

No goals. No ambition. But pain, pain seems to be a constant comrade.

That is my life.
air force, angry jesus, angsty angst, anime, anti-jesus, anything that flies, archon, atheist jesus, beelzemon blast mode, being anti-communist, being mean, being pissed off, being special, birds, blue clothing, c, charlitas, chickens, chub hating, cookiemonster jesus, country, crazy jesus, cussing, doodle macz, duel monsters, egg-hating jesus, el jesus, escaflowne, evil jesus, excellence, fighting, food, forests, frivolity, fun with satanism, fun-in-the-sun jesus, game design, ghetto jesus, god of games, grave of the fireflies, heroic heroism, homeless jesus, insanity, integrity, jeff k, ki master jesus, kicking ass, killing misfits, kittys, living, madness, making something of myself, manic depression, mc hawking, misanthropy, mocking people, modies, movies that don't suck, neons, not being a leech, not sleeping for days, people poo, piss puppy, plif, plows, porn that doesn't suck, potatoes, rain, rivers, rpgs, sea hydras, service before self, simpsons, sleeping, snake poo, solipsism, stupid jesus, swordmancer, swordmancing, tenacious d, the best force, thunder, vengeful jesus, veronica zemanova, yu-gi-oh

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